Have you Heard of the Flerd

I'll post a picture of what I think a flerd looks like soon-kf

Have you heard of the flerd
Who lost track of his yerd?
(This particular flerd’s name was Jerd.)

He searched high
And low
And in-between
He looked far
And wide
But found not a bean.
Jerd asked for the help of his friends,
Merd and Serd,
Who enlisted the help of two more,
Zerd and Perd.
They looked and they looked,
These five flerdy friends.

They searched the whole world
From beginning to end.
Still they found not a sign
Of the yerd that was gone.
It was hiding—or lost—but no matter the cost
Jerd needed to find his yerd.
For without it, you see,
He couldn’t fliggameezee.
And a fleggameezeeless existence
Would just have no glee.
So Jerd and his flerd friends,
Merd, Serd, Zerd and Perd,
Continued the search for Jerd’s missing yerd.

“But what is a yerd?”
Did I hear you ask that?
Do you not learn of yerds in the place where you’re at?
Well, I promise to answer
Just what a yerd is,
But first we must check on
The flerds and their searches.
They still have not found it—
They exclaim, “Oh, confound it!
How could that yerd have left its flerd Jerd?
We must find it!
We must,
Or our quest is a bust.
For minus his yerd, our friend Jerd is half-clerd.”

So they continued to look
And to search
And to seek,
But of that yerd they discovered
Not one single peek.
At last they agreed, they must stop for the night,
And continue tomorrow on their flerd-finding fight.
But alas, still the next day,

And week

Month

And year

The end of their quest still did not draw near.
They fin’ly admitted that they didn’t know
Just how to get that yerd to show.

So they went to the experts;
Jerd, Merd, Perd, Serd and Zerd
Consulted the ones
Who knew how to find yerds.
The yerd-finding experts in the world of the flerds
Knew at once where Jerd’s long-missing flerd would be found.

They said, “Go all the way back
To where you began.
Then go back even farther,
As far as you can.
Then you will recall
where you last saw your yerd.
As soon as you know it,
You must think very hard
Of just what your yerd is,
How it looks,
What it says.
Hold on to those thoughts
As you capture your yerd,
And keep them in mind
As you find your yerd-rhyme.
And then, my dear Jerd,
You will know at all times
Just where, how and when
To locate your yerd.”

And so Jerd and Merd, Perd, Serd, and Zerd
Went back to the place
Where Jerd lost his yerd.
All five of the flerds,
Minding the import of fliggameezee
Looked around, up, and down
Then did as the yerd-experts said to.
The flerds went one step
Farther back from here,
And Jerd, who all this time
Had been missing his yerd,
Said, “I see it! It’s here!
Right before where I left it
When I had it last year!”

It was true, there it was—
Barely glowing, the long-missing yerd.
It pulsed and grew brighter;
The nearer Jerd got,
The harder it glowed—
It was practically hot!
It flashed and Jerd smiled.
“It missed me too!”

The flerd friends all cheered,
And their yerds glew too.
Now all of the flerds
Had their yerds
In their hearts.
And that’s what a yerd is—
It glows in your heart.

More Musical Meandering

I really enjoyed this. It reminds me a lot of the Pachelbel Rant I posted about in June. All the best ideas are stolen from someone else--the same goes for music!

Phonology gone crazy

Anyone familiar with the Capitol Steps will enjoy their Lirty Dies routine. I first heard Lirty Dies in my Exceptional Phonologies class a couple years ago. Listen to this one (there are a bunch; if you like this one, you'll like them all). If you're confused, it's all about switching onsets. It happens to all of us (we call it a "slip of the tonuge" or a Spoonerism), and it's a lot of fun to hear it done deliberately--and in such a funny way!

Let me know what you think of these--it could be that I'm the only one who's a big enough dork to think they're hilarious.

Books, reading, and language

I wrote a couple of posts several months ago (this one and this one) about linguistics and and reading, and I've been thinking about the relationships among language, books, and reading a lot lately. What makes a good book? What makes a great book? What makes a book that becomes a classic? Why are we still reading Shakespeare after 400 years? What makes a bad book? Is there a difference between a book that's fun to read and a book that's good to read? Some classics are hard to read and, frankly, boring--so why are they classics? I honestly think that to some extent some books are considered classics because we've always been told that they are. (Moby Dick, anyone? Not to disparage Melville--well, okay, I hate Melville and I would prefer not to read any of his work ever again)

It's subjective of course, but I have my theories about reading. Some of the "boring" classics are still good reads (okay, I'll admit that Moby Dick might be worth reading. If you have the stamina. And the ability to skim large passages.) because of the insight into language that they provide (and the brain exercise!). The reason that Moby Dick feels boring to me is because it uses the language of its day, and mid-19th century English tends to be very...well, drawn-out might be a good description. Some of the sentences last for pages, and in a story as detailed, involved, and long as Moby Dick, that can be intimidating. I'm all for reading modernized versions, summaries, and so on, but you lose a lot of the flavor of the original piece that's integral to why it became a classic in the first place. (My technique is usually to read the summary/modern version/whatever first, then read the original. That way I actually understand what the story is about and I get the edifying effect of reading the original classic. More work, but more benefit to me.) Think about reading the King James Version of the Bible. The language is beautiful, but it's hard to understand! So, if I read the same passage in the Message version and in the KJV, I get more out of both; the beauty of language and understanding.

One note--in the era in which the KJV and Moby Dick were written, there wasn't anything special about the language--it was the standard of the day. People talked and wrote like that. Heck, read some Chaucer in the original Middle English--it's not even the same language we speak today--it's largely unintelligible to us. Some of the benefit of reading them comes from seeing where our language has been.

I'll write more about all this later, because I have more considering to do...

Merry Christmas!

I'd like to wish everyone a very merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year.

And for anyone worrying about the economy (or anything else), just remember that life's joys wouldn't be nearly so bright without the darkness of suffering to contrast them. In other words, sometimes life's a bitch, but you just have to keep going. Eventually the pain will lessen.

How's that for a bright and cheery Christmas message?

Politicians, Dante, and the 8th Circle of Hell

I was refreshing my memory on Dante's Inferno today (I haven't read it since my freshman year in high school, and a friend made a comment about one of the circles of hell, and I needed a quick refresher. The comment, btw, mentioned hypocrites' place in Dante's hell), and discovered something amusing. Before I get to that, two things: 1) I don't believe that Dante was a big an authority on hell as he'd have us believe (His ideas are pretty self-serving. I mean, assuming that his enemies would be consigned to hell? Not too egotistical.) But for the purposes of this blog entry, his ideas are pretty convenient for me ;)

2) I think we can safely agree that most--possibly not all, but surely a large portion--politicians are corrupt. (Politics and corruption go hand in hand, right?)

So, anyway. It turns out that the 8th Circle of Hell has a space (a bolgia) reserved especially for corrupt politicians. They are immersed in a lake of boiling pitch. Now, I have to say that I think that in this century, we could probably come up with something more creative than that as a punishment for corrupt politicians, but Dante had to work with what he had available to his imagination in the 14th century.

This brings me to this question, though: if we do assume that most politicians are corrupt, and that Dante's right and that sends them to hell (I might address that in a future post. Dante apparently didn't believe in grace or forgiveness.), does hell have enough space? Will Satan have to expand?

Jesus Christ: Republican or Democrat?

I’ve seen and heard lots of arguments—from both sides—about whether Jesus would have been a Republican or a Democrat. I’d like to examine the issue, then I’ll tell you what I think.

During his ministry (we don’t know about his life before his ministry, other than his birth and an incident when he was about 12), Jesus spent most of his time with the down-trodden, the poor, the sick, the sinful, and the unpopular. He reached out to cripples, prostitutes, tax collectors (who were considered about as reputable as prostitutes in those days), the blind, the dying, and even the dead. In His own words, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick” (also see Mark). So, Jesus didn’t work with the people who already had what they needed—those people didn’t need Him (at least, they didn't realize that they needed Him).

What does that have to do with political parties? Well, mostly that I don’t think Jesus would have been either a Democrat or a Republican. He probably wouldn’t get involved in politics at all; he’d be out on the street helping and healing people and telling them about His Father.

Another reason that I don’t think Jesus would be a Dem or a Rep is that he’d actually be a king. The Bible doesn’t ever mention democracy (I’ve read it, and nowhere does the good book talk about democracy or even mention the word); it’s all about kingdoms. Please don’t jump on me here—I’m not saying that I think democracy is wrong or that I don’t like democracy or anything even remotely like that. I do believe in democracy, and I think that the U.S. is an amazing and wonderful country, and I’m blessed and proud to be a citizen. I think that democracy is the best human political system. But the truth is, the Kingdom of God is just that—a kingdom. God is the King, not the president or the speaker of the house or the school board chair. We don't get to vote for who the president of the Kingdom of Heaven is. He's already been chosen. And I think Jesus would have counted any of our votes in our earth-bound elections well-cast (after all, it’s a pretty freaking amazing privilege to be able to choose your government! Jesus didn’t have that option) as long as we spend our time outside the polling booth serving others.

So as to those arguments saying that Jesus would vote this way or that way, that he'd definitely be a democrat or absolutely be a republican? I disagree with them all.

I'd very much like to hear what you think about this subject; please leave a comment!

My book arrived!

Okay, I know it's just a copy of my thesis, but it was still pretty darn exciting to see that the bound copies of my thesis arrived! I ordered them less than a week ago from Lulu (a really easy way to self publish, btw), and I wasn't expecting to get them for a few more days. Anyway, it's really cool to have a book with my byline on it :)

Yay!

A psalm to the Lord

I'm feeling on fire for God right now, so I had to write Him a love song. Here it is:

God of all creation, You fill the world with glory!
Holy is your name, and holy are your works.
God of heaven and earth, your beauty saturates the earth!
You fill my eyes with your holiness.
My soul cannot contain its joy!
I see your beauty in the sky,
I see your plan in the changing trees,
I see your love in the shining sun,
And I see your grace in each new day.
Your love and mercy overwhelm me!
I am filled with praise you.
I praise your holy name
I glorify your wondrous name
I bless and praise your name!

Making it through the storm

This is a wonderful devotion on surviving life's storms. Take a minute to read it--it's brief, so it's not a big time commitment--and see if you don't think it's comforting, too.