Continuing Kitten Antics

Not surprisingly, Hide and Seek are still silly, energetic, and curious. The result is sometimes...hmm. Interesting may be the word.

Exhibit 1: I have a dangly mousie that hooks over the door on my bedroom door. The cats go crazy for it. On the other side of the door, I have my ironing board on a door-hook-thing. One morning recently, I woke up to a thunderous noise. Thinking the house was falling down around me, I jumped up to investigate. It turns out that Hide had managed to bat the mousie over the door. The cacophony was the sound of him climbing the ironing board to retrieve his toy.

Exhibit 2: Turns out, Seek likes clothes. If I open my closet door for more than a millisecond, both cats take advantage and go in to play (their names are appropriate, after all). Last week, I discovered Seek standing on my clothes. No, not on a pile of clothes on the floor or a shelf. ON THE CLOTHES ON HANGERS. I don't know how he got there or why he thought it was a good idea, but he's done it several times, so it must be fun.

Exhibit 3: They also, not surprisingly, like to jump up on the kitchen cabinets, where they can look down on me from their superior position. Typically, they jump to the counter next to the fridge (the only counter area they're allowed to be!), then up on top of the fridge, then to the cabinets. Okay, not abnormal, right? What is surprising is that, if I have the freezer door open, Hide will jump from the floor into the freezer. That's right, he jumps straight up about four feet into the FREEZER. Why? My only guess is that he likes surprising me.

That's all for now. I'm sure I'll have more ridiculous cat stories in days to come.

What is normal, anyway?

As I mentioned a few months ago, I started a new medication in December. It's made a remarkable difference. I feel...well...normal. Of course I still have moods, but the ups and downs aren't months-long, and they don't control me. I can be sad without it taking over my brain, and I can be happy without worrying about when it will end. How weird is that?

Another note about depression: one of the problems is that it can make you feel helpless and controlled by the condition. What I've discovered is that, in addition to therapy and medication, taking any concrete step makes a huge difference. Rather than wallowing, I just get up and clean the sink, or exercise for 10 minutes, or sweep the floor, or cook dinner. A small step makes a big difference! I guess Nike knows what they're talking about--just do it. 

The Book Junkie

I have a secret: I spent a bunch of time working on an exciting (to me, at least) project. I didn't tell anyone about it, because I didn't want any pressure or discouragement from anyone who might have thought I couldn't do it or that it wasn't a worthwhile use of my time.

So here it is: The Book Junkie! The Book Junkie is a website devoted to books--book reviews, book lists, book resources, book recommendations, etc. For anyone like me, who's addicted to books, I think it will be a lot of fun. In addition to my reviews, I've included several ways to interact with me/the site, including a discussion forum, where readers can critique my reviews. You can also follow the Book Junkie on Facebook (Yup! I set up a Facebook fan page) and on Twitter.

I'm very happy and excited to have completed the first stages of establishing my site--and even more excited at the prospect of keeping it up and running! I've found a way to do something practical with my love of reading and writing. Who'd have thunk it?

Updating the Fight

I wrote a couple of months ago about part of my experience with depression. Since then, I’ve had the opportunity to talk with my family, my therapist, and my doctor. It turns out that my up-and-down cycles are not, in fact, normal. I can hear the well, duhs now. Of course it’s not normal, Kate. The thing is, it’s been so much better since I started on my antidepressant a few years ago that I assumed it was as good as it could get. My lows weren’t as low as they used to be, and the highs were longer and more stable. Until I talked with Mom, I never realized that I could feel better. That’s a big part of my problem—I don’t know what “normal” feels like, so I don’t have a good comparison for my version of normal. I was content with better.

Well. I talked with my therapist, Abbey (who is fabulous, by the way. If anyone needs a therapist, let me know & I’ll give you her contact info), describing the regular ups and downs. Keep in mind, I’ve been seeing her for about six years now, and I never mentioned this because I never realized that it was abnormal. Anyway, she said that it sounds like more than depression; it might be cyclothymia (mood cycles, essentially). Cyclothymia is actually in the bipolar spectrum, but it’s a very mild form. (And just so you know, I’ve never been suicidal, even though Mayo’s description includes that as part of the symptoms. So please don’t worry that I’m going to up & kill myself. I have way to strong of a guilt complex to ever do that.) So, after visiting my psychiatrist and talking with her, I started taking Lamictal in addition to the Celexa I’ve been taking for years. I’ve been on it for over a month now, and I think it’s making a difference. I still get sad sometimes, and I still get happy, but I don’t feel overwhelmed or controlled by moods—and they’re far less extreme. I feel…well...normal. Oh, and it’s cherry flavored!

Fighting the fight

I don’t usually do this formally. I share it all the time, but I’ve never put it out there for the whole world to see. I’m hoping that sharing a piece of my story encourages someone.

I have depression. Long-lasting, sometimes intense, and pervasive depression. I go through long periods of being happy with just the faintest underlying depression, and I go through periods of subtle despair. Occasionally, I have stints of out-and-out misery. It’s a battle. I never quite know if I’m winning, but I make it through the day (or sometimes the minute) to face the next, so I don’t think I’m losing. It’s always there, like that annoying house guest that you don’t know how to get rid of.

It started, I’m sure, with my stroke in 1992 (but it might have been my diabetes diagnosis six months earlier. Or possibly a combination of the two). I did therapy while I was recovering from the stroke, plus a brief stint in high school, but I largely ignored it for the next 12 years. In 2004, I finally realized that I had a problem and needed help. I got in touch with a psychotherapist and have been seeing her ever since (that’s going on 6 years, in case you’re counting). 4 years ago, she convinced me to try anti-depressants. I had been resistant to the idea because I felt like it would be one more thing to have to deal with, but at the time I was fighting so hard that I was willing to give it a try. I went to a psychiatrist for the prescription, and have not regretted it. The medicine has made a huge difference. It makes my depression manageable. It never goes away entirely, and I still have bad periods, but they’re livable now. We’ve had to increase my dose a couple of times in the 4 years I’ve been taking it, but it’s worth feeling better. If I had to make the decision again, I would definitely opt to use meds again. I will, I suspect, be on anti-depressants for the rest of my life, and I’m completely okay with that.

Talk therapy and medication make it much better, but they don’t cure it. So how do I manage when I go through rough patches, like now? Well, basically I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I know that I will come out of it eventually, and life will look brighter. I just survive, and at some point I can get back to thriving. The effects of my depression seem cyclical; I’ll be great for a while, then life will be unhappy for a while. Knowing that a period of great is around the bend helps me get through when I feel awful. On the other hand, even when I feel wonderful, there’s a piece of me that knows that the cycle will take me back to unhappy sometime soon. I try to simply acknowledge it and keep going. I can enjoy the good times even when I know that less-good times are around the corner, because I know that they will give me hope when I get there. And hope is what makes life worth living.

Help Me Adopt Hide and Seek!

It's official--I'm adopting Hide and Seek! We're very excited. The kittens voiced their approval via extra purring this morning :)

Now I need to raise money to pay the SPCA back for Hide & Seek's vet care, flea & worm treatments, vaccines, etc. Will you help me out? Click on the button below to donate. ALL MONEY GOES TO THE SPCA. I'm not keeping any of it; even if we raise more than the adoption fee, it's still all going to the SPCA.

I need to raise at least $200! Please pass the word around; I can use all the help I can get. Donations are secure (via PayPal); you can use any major credit card. If you'd like to contribute via cash or check, contact me & I'll get you in touch with the SPCA rep.

 Hide, Seek, and I all appreciate your help.

For Hide & Seek's fans

Here are a few videos of Hide and Seek being silly last night. I love the fact that in less than three months, these two have gone from timid, frightened kittens to bold and happy goofballs!

This one's just Seek. He was being very silly last night.



This is another one of just Seek. Right before I took this, he had jumped halfway up the lamp & grabbed the post, then slid down fireman-style!



This one is Hide and Seek playing. My favorite part is the mouse snatch!

When I was playing this back to make sure everything was okay with it, Hide heard me meowing (on the video) and came running.

As you can see (from all three videos), Seek REALLY likes that lamp. I'm glad that my fosters are so silly!

Look how big they're getting!

 Here are couple of recent pictures of Hide and Seek. They're getting so big, it's hard to believe how tiny they were when they first came to live with me!

These first two are of Hide and Seek investigating Gus. I took them about a week ago. 

 

This is one I took just a few minutes ago. The kittens have been rambunctious for the past two days, so it was lovely to capture them in a moment of quiet.

Seriously--check out how big they've gotten!

This video must be from a couple of weeks ago (I can tell by the mess in the background). Hide and Seek are "helping" me work on my laptop, then they're entertaining me by playing with their cat dancer (see here, too. This toy is one of the best things I've gotten for Hide and Seek!). 

This video is from tonight. I took it right after the still picture of Hide and Seek snoozing.The quality on this one isn't great, because the kittens are kind of in shadow. Still, you can get an idea of how much they've grown.





If they're this big at six months, I can't wait to see how big they are as adults!

The Adventures of Hide and Seek!

Hide and Seek went to the vet to be neutered yesterday. As always, they were shy and skittish in the unfamiliar place. The surgery went well, though, and both kittens are fine. When I went to pick them up last night, however, I had to wait a very long time for them to be brought out. Finally, the vet tech came out and explained to me that Seek had tried to make a break for it, and they had to catch him! (In the process, he managed to cause some bleeding, but fortunately there were no stitches for him to rip.)

The vet tech acted like it was abnormal for Seek to have tried to run. My thoughts were more along the lines of "I'm surprised he waited till the end of the day!" Anyway, both kittens are home safe now. They're happy and comfortable, and were uber-affectionate this morning :) I love my kitties!

Book Review: Twenties Girl

"Twenties Girl" by Sophie Kinsella (author of "Confessions of a Shopaholic," among others), is the story of Lara Lington and her great-aunt Sadie. The catch? Sadie is a ghost, and Lara barely knew her in life. Through Sadie's persistent haunting, Lara gets to know her--and in the process, learns quite a lot about herself.

We first meet Lara at Sadie's funeral. Sadie, 105, passed away recently, and Lara's parents pressure her to go to the funeral. Lara would rather be anywhere but at the boring funeral for an old lady she didn't know. Her desire to be elsewhere increases when she starts hearing a voice no one else can hear. She tries to escape, but Great Aunt Sadie's ghost won't leave her alone. To satisfy Sadie, Lara must stop the funeral in progress. This entails an accusation of murder. The ensuing hysteria is made more comic by Sadie nagging Lara to find Sadie's missing necklace--she won't leave without it.

In the process of searching for the special necklace, Lara learns just what a fascinating person her great aunt was, and learns how she herself wants to live. Sadie teaches Lara about relationships, having fun, and moving on. In the process, she leads Lara to step beyond her boundaries and live life fulfilled. And, this being Chick Lit, she finds The Man for her--who is not at all who she expected!

"Twenties Girl" was a fun and satisfying read. It took me 50 pages to really get into it, but it was worth it. The ending is more sweet than bitter, and I closed the book feeling like it had ended right.