Friday, May 8, 2009

Opening scene

This is a possible opening scene for my memoir. It's taken me a long time to get it finished, even though it's less than a page, because it's hard for me to acknowledge the emotional struggle. I have no problem talking about my physical rehab, pain, etc., but this is much harder. I debated pretty hard about whether or not I wanted to post this; it feels very exposing. What finally decided me is that, if I really do write and publish this memoir, the audience could be much broader than the loyal few who read my blog. So, here it is. Let me know what you think. (Oh, this is set in April 2004.)

Despite the sunshine streaming in the window, I slumped on my bed with my head in my hands. Why am I so sad? I tried to ignore the tears crawling down my cheeks. Life is good, so why can’t I be happy? Wiping my dripping nose on the back of my hand, I flopped backward. I don’t enjoy crying; everything about it makes me feel crappy. To end my jag, I worked on solving the puzzle of why, exactly, I was crying.

It was April. “I’ve been sad for over a month. I want to stop being miserable. Wait—I was sad last year at this time, too. I wonder if I have that seasonal depression thing?” The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. “Oh! I get depressed every year at this time. It’s the anniversary. Duh.”

With this “new” knowledge in hand, I picked up the phone and called help. The woman I called, Jill, is a friend of the family and the mother of a childhood friend. She had recently gotten certified & started practicing clinical psychology; I knew that she would be able to steer me to someone who could help me.

“Hi, Jill. I have a favor to ask. Do you know of a local therapist I can contact? I just realized that I’m having depression issues related to my stroke.” That conversation would change my life. I was about to start a journey that had been 12 years in the making. For those 12 years, I had been oblivious to the emotional charges buzzing around in my mind. I was finally going to start trying to defuse them.


Heidi said...

This looks like a great beginning to me. It wasn't what I was expecting, but I like that about it.

Kate said...

Out of curiosity, what were you expecting? I was tempted to start with the actual stroke, but--after much hemming & hawing--I decided to start with the emotional journey instead of the physical.

By the way, I really appreciate your feedback! It's very helpful to have an "outsider" (that is, someone who hasn't known me since I was two or younger!) look at this & let me know if I'm getting the point across.

Heidi said...

Hey again--I think I was expecting you to start with the actual stroke. I like this beginning because of that.

wizards of waverly place seasons 1-3 dvd said...

Big discount for Christmas! Hi man, boardwalk empire, sons of anarchy true blood for you to stimulate your manliness, sharing this hero feast! Hi, woman, sex and the city to teach you how to be a charming woman, desperate housewives to remind you to get out of the desperate strange swirl to hold women’s freedom and dependent! Hi, children, enjoy your fairy tale kingdom, to explore with brave and courageous Sinba in The Lion King Trilogy, to get involve to the life of superstar in Hannah Montana, or enjoy the magic world in Wizards of Waverly Place! Hi, lovers, how about snuggle together to share the romantic time with each other to watching romantic comedies, like How I Met Your Mother? All these great dvds available in collectcheaps with big discount just for those people holding profound love in heart.
wizards of waverly place seasons 1-3 dvd