Monday, August 3, 2009

From the Weird Dreams File...

Since I couldn’t sleep last night, I started thinking about some of the odd dreams I’ve had over the years. Several stand out as being so bizarre that I thought I’d entertain you all with them.

Weird Dream File Number 1

I recently dreamed that all of the printers at my office staged a mutiny. Their gaping paper-drawer mouths would fall open then slam shut, trapping strings of papery drool. They advanced quickly, madly waving their stubby arms, tightening their circle of doom until, finally, they swallowed me up. It was pretty horrifying. (It won’t surprise you to find out that I’m in charge of the computers, server, and printers at work.)

Weird Dream File Number 2

I must have been upset at something when I had this dream. I’m pretty sure it was a dream. I think I’d remember if it had actually happened, right? All I remember is that I was really unhappy and I slammed a door (I don’t know where I was or what room the door was in, which I’m taking as another sign that this was, in fact, a dream) and screaming. However, the door didn’t slam loudly enough, so I had to keep opening and re-slamming it to get any satisfaction out of my tantrum.

Weird Dream File Number 3

This was a year or more ago now. I opened my bedroom door, only to be caught in an avalanche of laundry. I don’t know whether it was clean or dirty laundry, but I sure hope it was clean. I mean, how awful would it be to be stuck in a deluge of dirty laundry? At any rate, I went down screaming and struggling against the monster that was my clothes. In case you hadn’t guessed, laundry is one of my least favorite chores. I guess that I had put off dealing with it for just a bit too long when I had this dream!

Weird Dream File Number 4

This is a pretty old one, but still worth sharing. Basically, in this one my older sister is stabbed to death. With a carrot.

Weird Dream File Number 5

I had this dream repeatedly as a child. Remember the fairytale “The Twelve Princesses”? Well, my dream was a spoof on this fairytale. Kara, Jane, and I would take a boat across a lake to a castle where we would dance with handsome princes. Once we were there, however, the plot changed a bit from the original story. After dancing and having a wonderful time, somehow we would be trapped in the castle and running from something awful. What was this hideous monster? No idea. A dragon? A lion? Our cousin Paul?

I’d love to hear about some other people’s weird dreams. If nothing else, it might help me feel less crazy ;)

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